Letting go

"Some people think that holding on is what makes them strong. Sometimes it is letting go."

Last year my father passed away and last weekend his longtime companion passed also. I am still at a loss after caring for my father for 10 years, and getting to know his companion in that time.  They were a quite a couple and now they are gone. I  keep asking myself what more I could have done, but letting go of that, I can return to happier memories.

I recently had to end a relationship. I had not known this person for very long and I thought that she shared my enthusiasms, but I had come to find out that we disagreed quite radically.  I was willing to agree to disagree, but she wanted to convince me that she was right. The language that she used to convince me was quite disrespectful. I stewed for quite a while before confronting this person and she did not take it well. I am sad about letting it go, but in a way I feel unburdened about not having to defend myself every time we communicated.

I am comforted by this Zen scroll:
 
hanatsu no shizen  "Release this and everything will be of itself so"

This letting go is one of the hardest lessons for me. A lot of the time when we talk about not having desires, it relates to material things: bigger house, nicer car, the newest gadget.  But letting go of desires also means letting go of expectations, of the way things "should" be. 

"Everything will be of itself so"  or What is, is. Looking and accepting what is, rather than being disappointed for what isn't, or what I want it to be.

Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn my back and slam the door
And here I stand, and here I'll stay
Let it go, let it go
The cold never bothered me anyway

White Clouds

When choosing the toriawase, the arrangement of utensils for a chakai, or chaji the first thing you should consider is the scroll.  It sets the theme for your event and gives the guests something to think about.  Most scrolls displayed in the tea room are zen phrases written by Zen priests, monks, or abbots.  They can also be written by Zen scholars, spiritual leaders or person of inspiration.

When we enter and bow before the scroll, we are not bowing to the scroll itself.  We are bowing to the person and the spirit of the person who wrote it.  We look at the writing, which may not be the most readable, nor the most classical of script, but embodies the person who wrote it at the time they wrote it.  Observe the darkness or lightness of the ink, the wetness or dryness of the brushstrokes.  Are the strokes bold or delicate?  Do they convey movement or stability? All of these things and more can be observed by just looking at the calligraphy.  And of course you can admire it as a work of art.

The scroll hung at Hatsugama this year was written by Eido Shimano Roshi of Daibosatsu.

It reads:  Haku un onozukara kyoraisu

The English translation may be:
White clouds come and go of their own accord, or White clouds of themselves come and go

Like all Zen phrases, it may have many and deep meanings, so as a host, it would be good not only to read it when the first guest asks you to, but also to talk a little bit of what it may mean to you.  For example,
"White clouds come and go by themselves may mean that we cannot stop nature from doing what it wants, and in my life, trying to control everything is not productive, we have to let the white clouds come and go of their own accord."

In the gomei discussions, (also this post) I suggested that Zen phrases are good places to look for gomei.  "White clouds" or "come and go" can be used for gomei, and then you can recite the phrase from which the gomei is taken.

There is also a companion phrase to go with this one:  Seizan moto fudoo

The English translation may be:
Blue mountains by nature are immoveable, or blue mountains are steadfast

So if you hang the scroll haku un onozukara kyoraisu,  a very good gomei for the chashaku may be "seizan" blue mountains from the companion phrase, and then you can look like a sophisticated scholar.

As a reward for those of you who have read all the way to the bottom of this long post, I have a bonus for you.  Not all scrolls you may purchase on eBay have a scroll box.  To protect your scroll from damage and also to show some reverence for the spirit of the person who wrote it, here is a project plan for making a a scroll box of cardboard.  You can make it any size to fit your scroll perfectly. Then you can come and go as you please.

Gomei discussion

I have been having an extended discussion with a commenter about gomei.  See this post and the comment thread.

For the guests, learning the gomei is of particular interest and in our discussion the commenter said,

"It sounds like the choice of a seasonal name is, at least partly, also the gift of reminding the guests of a shared cultural experience. . . . Perhaps the best gomei is not only one that is seasonally approprite [sic], but also unites the host and guests in the warm feelings of a shared remembrance."

This is a nice way of putting it and I really want to make the point that the gomei while seasonal are also allusional, that is they evoke feelings or remind people, of the seasonal moment.  The gomei themselves are a shortcut to those feelings and shared experiences.

So if you are going to use a local seasonal gomei,  make sure that everyone in the room can relate to what you are talking about and that the gomei can evoke some shared cultural or seasonal experience.  The kigo, or words that evoke the season in Japanese culture are a great reference for seasonal gomei.  You might try this link,  HAIKU KIGO Poetic Seasonal Expressions.

Another part of the discussion was about zen gomei for koicha.  I am not a Zen practioner, and I have not studied the Zen sayings, so it is difficult to come up with good koicha gomei. I tell my students to think of the tea scroll that they know.

Wa kei sei jaku - or a combination of wakei (harmony and respect)
Nichi, nichi kore ko jitsu
Ichigo, ichie
Matsu kaze
Buji kore kinin

Are some scrolls you know, so take a phrase from them.  Also: 

"It pays to pay attention. When someone else offers a Zen gomei, or your teacher suggests one, write it down with notes on meaning(s) or if it was from a Zen phrase or poem. Whenever you go to chakai and they give a name, write it down. I keep a notebook of good gomei both seasonal and Zen. If you are ambitious, you might try to research them from famous utensils . I found Haku gyoku "White jewel" from a famous (meibutsu) bunrin chaire with a drip of glaze, in an exhibition catalog."

Do you have other suggestions?   Please let's continue the discussion in the comments.

New reading material

I just want to call your attention to a few new (at least new to me) publications of interest to fellow Chado students, and they are in English.  You can find these along with other recommended books at the Issoan Tea Site.

NEW! Sen Genshitsu Talks About the Enjoyment Of Tea by Sen Genshitsu, Urasenke Grand Tea Master XV, Translated to English by Maya Perry
ISBN-10: 4473032965 Paperback
ISBN-13: 978-4473032966

Fifteenth Generation Urassenke Grand Master talks about memorable tea gatherings, guest and host, the lineage of Rikyu, the spirit of hospitality, tea equipment, and becoming better at doing tea among many other topics.  Notable for the English translation of the hundred poems at the back of the book.




NEW! Urasenke Chado Textbook, translated to English based on the Japanese textbook, Urasenke Chado
ISBN-10: 4473036960 Paperback
ISBN-13: 978-4473036964

Replacement for Uransenke Handbooks 1 and 2.  A much more informational book with less emphasis on actual teaching and photos of procedures.  Topics include:  the spirit of Chado, Zen, Classics related to Chado, tea and health, history and development of Chado, the tea room, the roji, utensils and the significance of temae. Reference material at the back of the book.



NEW! Moon by the Window, The Calligraphy and Zen Insights of Shodo Harada
ISBN 9780861716487 Paperback

Shodo Harada is internationally recognized both as a Zen teacher and as a world class master of the fine art of Zen calligraphy.  Harada regularly exhibits and gives calligraphy demonstrations in museums and universities in the U.S. and abroad.  Moon by the Window is a collection of 108 pieces of Shodo Harada's calligraphic Zen masterpieces assembled over the decades, and drawn from the rich and poetic literature of the Zen tradition.  Each work is accompanied by Harada Roshi's sharp and glittering commentaries, making each page a spiritually edifying and aesthetically uplifting  treasure.